Zelfportret 2007 nr. 70 2007

Philip Akkerman made this self-portrait, number 70 in a series from 2007, using pencil on paper. It's all in shades of grey. The face emerges from a tight network of lines. I am thinking about how he may have felt making this drawing. Do you ever look at your own face in the mirror and think, who is that? Akkerman's face seems caught in the act of looking and scrutinizing; the brow is furrowed, the eyes are asymmetrical, and the mouth a bit downturned. It's a thoughtful, almost melancholic depiction. The repetitive use of lines reminds me of the self-portraits of Chuck Close, but here, the organic, flowing quality gives the portrait a vulnerability. The background and the face seem to merge. The horizontal shading lines create a sort of pulsating field, suggesting that the subject is both present and disappearing. He is known for his obsessive self-portraiture. It makes you wonder whether this exercise is about capturing the self or losing it.