My Memory Nr. 1 2002

Zhang Xiaogang’s “My Memory Nr. 1” presents us with a child's face, rendered in unsettling pallor. The most striking motif is the large, vacant eyes, reminiscent of ancient funerary portraits intended to capture the soul. They stare blankly, devoid of personal expression, yet charged with collective memory. Notice the small patch on the cheek, a blemish that echoes the Japanese practice of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, celebrating imperfection. Here, it suggests a repaired or reconstructed memory, not quite seamless. This patching and mending connects to a broader human impulse to heal, to overcome trauma. Just as the serpent biting its tail symbolizes cyclical existence, the act of repairing oneself mirrors the endless cycle of memory and forgetting, of constructing and reconstructing our past. The child's expression—or lack thereof—triggers a deep, subconscious unease, a reminder of the fragility of identity and the weight of history. These faces capture the psychological landscape of a generation grappling with a past they cannot fully remember or escape. The image haunts us, its simplicity a mask for the complex layers of cultural and personal history.